Winning my heart, while it can't be simplistically broken down into five easy steps, I have thought of a few things that would definitely make it more difficult not to fall for you. Send me cute texts, buy me flowers, or post a picture of us, while all of those are nice they aren't the way to win my heart (although some girls would disagree). In my opinion, winning my heart is all in the way your words meet your actions and your actions meet your words.
"let your actions get my attention but let your intentions win my heart"
For the longest time, my twitter bio said "chocolate and love movies are the way to my heart", and while I love both a little too much, it's just not that simple (at least not anymore). One thing isn't going to do it for me, it's a combination of things, probably a lot more than five, but let's start there.
Words of affirmation. Yeah I know, you are thinking "what is that"? Let me explain. There are five love languages that outline ways you express and experience love. Physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, acts of service, and quality time. A test is offered in order to find out which love language you are. Mine, is words of affirmation and shortly behind that is acts of service and quality time. Some say "talk is cheap", but I disagree. I adore compliments, sweet cards, gratitude, and hearing what I mean to others. Of course I appreciate a gift, or a hug, but I would much rather hear how much you care. I have all kinds of letters and birthday cards saved from any guy that has ever written me one (so not many). All jokes aside, there is nothing better than hearing someone say "I love you" or "I miss you". 2. Another way to my heart, quality time. This is important in any relationship that is planning on developing further. Quality time, to me, is giving someone your undivided attention. While I enjoy watching movies, adventuring, and doing just about anything with someone I like, to win my heart that takes giving me all your attention and talking to me with no interruptions (including your phone). Don't get me wrong I love getting to go on date night, staying in and watching Netflix, or hanging out with our friends too, but alone time (without anything or anyone else) is very important. If you don't take time to get to know me and the things I like and don't like, there is not a chance you'll ever win my heart (but bring me chocolates anyway). 3.The often said "it's the little things that mean the most", has so much truth in it, at least to me. I don't need to be showered in gifts and I don't need to constantly be with you. All I want is for you to notice the little things about me, even the most insignificant. From something as small as knowing how I always twitch before I fall asleep to how I love shopping and dancing and eating desserts (really everyone should know that by now). Remembering all these things about me or telling me things that I may not even know about myself, shows how much you care and that you are really interested in me (and not just for the moment). I can think back on past relationships I have and they knew exactly how I would react, the face I would make, and what I would say back. Unless I am just entirely too predictable (which I like to think I'm not) it is possible to get to know all the little, good and bad, things about me. 4. Pursue me. While everyone "knows" what pursuing is, I don't think they necessarily know what it truly means. To be honest, I didn't either. That is before I talked to my oldest (but not that old) friend, commonly known as Mrs. Hurst, but I just call her Hurstie Durstie. She has given me countless words of wisdom that has helped me in every situation I seem to get myself into. We talk about all kinds of things, including what it means to be pursued. The way she explains it is far better than I ever could. This is what she had to say:
Think about what the word "pursue" implies. If someone pursues their dreams, they go after their goals with the hopes of accomplishing them. If someone pursues a career, they take certain types of courses and train for the field in which they will be employed. Think about it. Pursuit implies action. In the scope of relationships, pursuit is not for the faint of heart. So why do girls desire (and deserve) to be pursued? And why should guys take these {serious} steps in a relationship? I believe it is God's design. So if you're reading this and you're not a full-out follower of Jesus, you may not understand. Women were specifically designed by God to be a man's helper. No, that doesn't mean we're less important, but the Bible does state that a good wife is more valuable than rubies. (Prov. 31:10) Wouldn't a man inherently want to pursue a treasure? Today's culture has taken much of this pursuit of a mate away from us. You see, the joy in finding a treasure is that is usually hidden so there is anticipation in the journey to find it. Girls, today, don't hide anything. They expose more skin than they should, leaving nothing to the imagination. They expose their feelings all over social media so that there is no new thing to be learned about them. So why do girls want to be pursued? Pursuit is the end game. Pursuit is focused. Pursuit shows a girl that they're the only one. Pursuit builds trust and removes any traces of doubt. Pursuit lets the girl know that SHE is the treasure. In the end, Ladies, if he's not actively pursuing you, he's not worth your time. If you're tired of the dating game, quit playing it. Wait for the guy that will make you his treasure. He's out there. I promise."
5. I saved the most important for last. You just have to love Jesus. It's as simple as that. A relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in my life and the person that wins my heart, should feel the same. Not just the "go to church" guy, but the invested in a relationship with God kind of guy. Otherwise, you have no chance of winning my heart. There are things I want to see within your relationship with Christ.
I want someone who spends more time praying about an issue than just talking about it.
I want someone who shows God's love, by loving others. I want someone who reads, prays, and talks about the Bible with me. I want someone who strives to be more like Christ. I want someone who prays for me, without being asked. I want someone who gives up their time, money, & own desires to follow the Lord's path. I want someone who is willing to travel the world to spread God's word.
Above all, I want someone who exemplifies Jesus in his everyday actions, words, and decisions. There is just something so attractive about a guy worshiping and talking about God. Someone who will win my heart, understands that we will both love our maker more than we could ever love each other.
You may be reading this and thinking, wow that was so unhelpful. Sometimes (usually) boys need things to be spelled out for them. So in addition to the five ways to (begin) to win my heart, others would include:
Bringing me chocolate
Planning a date, one that doesn't require me giving suggestions
Gifts aren't necessary, but some sweet gesture would be nice
Telling me I look good never hurt anything either
Hearing about how much you love your family
I seriously love getting letters or anything you made
Making me laugh, especially when that is the last thing I want to do at the moment
Getting to listen about your relationship with God
Taking interest in learning about what I like to do and what is important to me
Encouraging words, as I have already mentioned, mean a lot. So tell me how great I am going to do on my test (even if you think I'll fail)
Someone who has their own interests, hobbies, and things they enjoy
Also, having goals and plans for the future is important
Making an effort to talk to my friends
Asking about my family
Being interested in my past, all the way down to my quiz bowl days (yes, I was in quiz bowl)
Who doesn't love surprises, I sure do
Be willing to go on adventures, because I sure like them
Watching you play with kids
Offering to help with anything whether that be grocery shopping or cleaning
Invite me to do things that you do with your family
Always make an effort to make sure I am doing okay
Don't give me any reason to doubt you or feel like I can't trust you (trust is hard to get back)
While I could list several more things that would make me like you a little more, it doesn't seem that simple. You could do every single thing on this list and still not win my heart. It has happened before, the perfect guy comes along with everything you are looking for and it just doesn't work out. Chemistry is important, and that is something that you can't just do in order to gain someone's love. Either the two of you have it or you don't. I have also learned a lot about timing, it means everything. If something is not in God's timing then it won't work out, no matter how perfect you make think it is. While this post was beneficial to me in learning what I want, I realized it is not as easy as making a list of ways to win my heart. Things like that just happen, they can't be explained. Besides, I'm not going to tell you how to win my heart by you just reading my blog (it's not that easy).
xoxo,
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