"Everyone has a past"
Too often I decide that my closet needs a face lift. Today was one of those days (haven't decided if it is because of my obsession with clothes or my need for organization). I had so many clothes that I don't wear anymore, and haven't for quite some time, yet I still had them. I kept asking myself, "why do I have all of this stuff?". Clothes and shoes that didn't fit, or ones that were quite out of style, filled my closet to the point where I couldn't find anything. As I went to get rid of all the old clothes that used to be new, I realized why I have held on to them for so long. I never got rid of them because I was connected to them (yes you can be connected to clothes). There are memories I have of wearing all these clothes that have now collected dust in the back of my closet. I can remember wearing it to some monumental moment in my life, whether that be the first day of school, a birthday party, a first date, or even more importantly a second one. Keeping these clothes for this long somehow, in some way, kept this memory in my life. As I packed them up and put them in my trunk, I realized how relevant this was.
"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."
Often times I try to keep every person, every thing, every moment in my life. I don't want to let go of anything (hence the full closet). Keeping these things or people in my life has always been important to me. I don't want to see people go and grow apart from them, and I don't want to give up that cute top that used to be my absolute favorite. Change has never been something I am good at or comfortable with. I have to say, over the last few years, my inability to let go of the past has caused more stress and confusion than I can begin to explain, but bear with me while I attempt to.
"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life and in change there is power."
Letting go of people has always been my biggest struggle. Graduating from high school caused a scatter of all the people I have known. I knew their families, their history, and whether or not they liked the cafeteria food (answer was always no). Suddenly all my best friends were in a different place than me, they were gone. Of course I made new friends, ones that I could not live without, but having to let go of all the friendships that I had for several years was something I hadn't had to deal with until then. My best friend was no longer my best friend and my boyfriend was no longer my boyfriend. Life had changed. At this point, I thought this was a one time thing, transitioning out of school and into the real world. I figured this change would only happen once. Little did I realize, that it is a daily change. Whether it be your friend, or a significant other, change is hard.
"Old ways won't open new doors."
Letting go of a relationship that was so important to you at one time causes a roller coaster of emotions. Depending on what happened to make this relationship end will play a big role in how many times you get to ride the roller coaster (I am about to get sick I have been on it so much). You are surrounded by your thoughts of wondering how they are doing, what they are doing, and what is going on in their life, but also wanting to tell them about all the things going on with you. Your platonic or romantic relationship is over and that is something you have to come to terms with. People are always walking in and out of your life, and you have to accept it. If someone wants to be in your life, they will be. If they want to talk to you, they will. You cannot continue to hold on to the past because it is comfortable or easy. When someone walks out of your life or pushes you out of theirs, you have to let go and move past it. It's easier said than done but when you let go and move forward you will be thankful that you did.
"And suddenly you know... it's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings."
New beginnings, how refreshing does that sound? I don't know about you, but the idea of a fresh start trumps the sadness of letting go. There is so much potential in the beginning. You can build new friendships that lead you to new adventures, new music, or maybe even a new hobby. Looking forward and not having to hold the past on your shoulder makes for a fuller, happier life. In order to get to this point, you have to take those clothes out of your closet and get rid of them. Don't keep them thinking you may wear them again, you won't. Although you are connected to them and they hold memories, you cannot move forward until you pack them up and put them in your trunk. You can cry all the way to the resale shop, but after that it is all smiles, because you are about to embark on a new beginning, a beginning called your future.
May the next few months be a time of magnificent transformation and letting go of those people or clothes that are cluttering your life.
"There is something incredibly hopeful about a fresh start."
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