"Your 20's are your selfish years. Old enough to make right decisions and young enough to make the wrong ones. Be selfish with your time-travel, explore, fall in and out of love, be ridiculous and silly, stupid and wild. Be 20 something."
Looking back at this past year I can see so much growth and maturity in myself. I have noticed that I take on situations differently, react with more thought, and carry myself with more respect than I did before. To say the least, this has been a year full of change. I have learned all sorts of lessons (most the hard way) and discovered who I am and what I truly want out of life. Between becoming a part of something bigger than myself, developing deeper lasting friendships, or having to let go of a few relationships, it has been quite the journey to get to 21. My twentieth year of life is the year where I found myself and learned more than I ever would've expected. So here it is, the cliche 20 things I learned as a 20 year old.
Life is all about adventure. I have been half way across the world, across town, across the state, but no matter where I go it is always an adventure. While school and work are important and necessary, it's about the nights you stay up until 4am to get donuts or go on spontaneous trips to Fayetteville with your best friend that end up with you driving back in the snow (true story). Life is about spontaneity and adventure not redundant days spent studying. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Adult life is rough, but rewarding. While I don't get to spend all my money on that cute outfit or Fuji all the time, it is rewarding to provide for myself. Bills, bills, and more bills make me appreciate all that my parents did (and still do) for me. Feel free to keep paying for my car and phone as long as you'd like mom and dad. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Writing is one of my biggest passions (at least right now). It all started out on my summer bucket list and now it is a way to collect what I know and what I want to remember. I want to write things that people would still read 50 or 100 years from now. When my children and my children's children think about me, I want them to be able to read these and relate to the struggles I have faced and the things I got to experience. I guess that comes with getting older. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Letting go is for the best. Looking back at my journal (pitying who I used to be) I wrote, "I think I'm afraid of it all. I'm afraid of letting go and making the biggest mistake, but I'm also afraid of holding on to something that's not there." While letting go is never easy, it is always worth it in the end. Just put it down and walk away. You'll be surprised the happiness that you find when you do. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
You cannot do life without your best friend. I have always had a "best friend", but it wasn't until college that I found my person, the one who is always there for me. We share our struggles, our accomplishments, our heartbreak, and most importantly our jokes (mostly mine) with each other. I sincerely could not imagine what my college experience would have been like without her and luckily I'll never have to. Many friends come and go, but I can guarantee that no matter where we end up, she will always be my absolute best friend. Thankful she puts up with my sass, weird dance moves, and constant complaining about her messy car. **Love you Ashley** ----------------------------------------------------------------------
You will always need your parents. I used to think that once I started paying for my own stuff and had a life of my own that I wouldn't necessarily need my parents like I did, man was I wrong. I still call my dad and ask why the smoke alarm is beeping and why my car is making that weird noise. I still call my mom and ask if she thinks I should go on a date with this guy or if I wash my sheets on cold or hot. My parents both have to approve of any formal dress I wear, earrings or not dad? I also still seek approval and praise from my parents when I do well at work or school. I am quickly learning that no matter how old I am, I will always need my parents. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
You'll never get this day back, so make it count. I think a lot of the time we go day by day waiting for the weekend and we don't stop and make each day count. Don't wait for the weekend to enjoy yourself. If you want to skip school and road trip, do it (just not every day). If you want to tell that boy in your class that he is cute, do it. Carpe Diem-seize the day. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not just me getting older, everyone else is too. That may be a pretty obvious statement, but it really stuck out to me this past year. I am almost finished with college and ready (or not) for the real world. One day I was graduating high school and now I am filling out graduation forms to walk across the stage and get my Bachelor's degree. When I stop and think about it, my family is getting older too. My parents are one year closer to retiring and growing old together. My siblings are making a life of their own and my friends are closer to getting out of town, or state. My dad always says, "one day I'm not gonna be here", so cherish each moment you have with the ones you love, one day they really won't be here. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Make time for yourself. This has been a year of pure chaos. I have taken on so much more responsibility. Whether that be more hours at work, loads of homework and tests, or my Gamma Phi Beta position on the executive council as Membership Vice President. When I'm not busy with one of those things, I use my free time to spend with friends and family. I realized pretty quickly that I just need time to myself every once in a while. Whether that be watching Netflix, writing a blog, or really anything by myself. Sometimes you just need to take a break from everyone and spend some time alone, to experience, appreciate, and love yourself. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Speaking of loving yourself, I have truly learned to do that, finally. In the past, I was always unhappy with who I was, whether that be the way I looked or acted. Sometimes people, whether intentionally or not, put things in your head that make you think you're less than. Don't listen to those people, they clearly do not know the wonderful, capable person that you are. While it took some time, I stopped disliking all the things that I'm not and started loving everything that I am. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
If things are meant to happen, they will. This may be the hardest lesson I learned. Looking back on it, I can remember wanting a specific outcome that I was willing to do anything because I genuinely thought it was what was supposed to happen. I found myself doing this time and time again because I was so sure of it. Everything, in my opinion, was perfect. But, it didn't work out. While accepting it was truly hard to do, I knew it would've worked out if it was supposed to because what's meant for you won't ever miss you. Remember that. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
You're exactly where you need to be. It is so easy to get caught up in where everyone else is in their life. Between engagements, babies, marriages, and promotions-it can definitely be overwhelming. We all have that schedule of when we want to be engaged or have a career and a lot of times it doesn't work that way. It is hard not to look at someone else's life and wish you were there. Just take time and remember that your journey isn't defined by anyone else's. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Other people are looking up to you. It's easy to just make decisions based on what you want to do, but when you realize that others are looking at your actions you stop thinking just for yourself. I strive to be someone that younger women look up to. Because of this, I try to live up to all of the standards that my mentors have instilled in me. A women of integrity, kindness, selflessness, patience, and self respect. I want those that look up to me to reach their fullest potential, so they too can be a mentor to those younger than them. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
God is the only constant. People will disappoint you, break your trust, and leave you when you need them most. They will care more about their problems than your own. They won't have the tools necessary to heal your heart or get rid of your anxiety. Only God can do that. He is the one person that will never fail you. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't avoid confrontation. I have never been a fan of it, in fact I would avoid it at all costs. I've learned that no matter how hard it is, confrontation is inevitable. The longer you wait to talk to someone about a problem, the worse it will be. So put your big girl pants on and just do it, afterwards you'll be glad you did. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Not every ending has to be a bad one. In this past year, I have had all kinds of relationships end, but I have learned so much about myself. A friend recently said, "I have seen so much change in you in the last few months. You have become so independent and sure of yourself. Despite every bad thing, you have used your opposition to become a stronger person. I am so proud of who you are becoming." That really stuck with me and has truly made me realize that every ending isn't always a bad one. Sometimes it has to happen to get you where you want to be. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Life is more about the journey and less about the destination. We too often get caught up in the end result that we forget to enjoy this journey called life. Enjoy each second and observe all the people and things around you. You'll get to your destination when you do, but be sure to enjoy the ride on the way. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Moments may end, but memories last forever. It has been a year full of memories. I have made so many with so many different people. These are the memories that I will be telling my grandchildren while sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch. I won't tell them about all the hours I spent studying and working but about the times that I traveled to India to share the gospel or something as small and insignificant as blaring the music and driving around with my best friend. These are the memories that I am going to remember forever. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Savor the season you are in. Too often we wish for the next thing. I have found myself saying, "I can't wait to graduate", "I can't wait to be married and have kids", and "I can't wait to have a career." We spend so much of our time wishing away the season we are in and hoping for the future. Many of us can say we said that about being in college and here we are counting down the days. Enjoy where you are in life, wherever that may be. Don't wait until this season is over to realize all the good you had. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Always celebrate your birthday. The day you were born was the day God spoke you into existence. You have every obligation to celebrate that. So grab your friends, eat too much cake, and celebrate. It's your day. ----------------------------------------------------------------------
My twentieth year of life has been one that I will always remember. I won't say it was all good because I definitely had my share of rough patches and struggles. However, I got past it and something good came of it, one more lesson learned (or twenty). This isn't to say I have it all figured out, I probably never will. What I am saying, is that I left my twentieth year a whole lot better off than I did entering it. This was a year full of laughs, tears, new experiences, and lots of adventure. It was also a year that I learned more about myself than I ever intended. The year I look back at and say, that's where it all changed for me, that's where I found who I was.
Here's to year twenty-one.
May it bring me more wisdom and experience than the last.
"I love getting older. My understanding deepens. I can see what connects. I can weave stories of experience and apply them. I can integrate the lessons. Things simply become more and more fascinating. Beauty reveals itself in thousands of forms."
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